Mission Trip:Costa Rica

Sunday, July 18 and then some

I hear monkeys! And I’m not talking about about Tova and Phil HA! Actual monkeys. They do a groan/bark thing. How WEIRD is that??

I have to tell you – Tova sat in with our little small group tonight. She was talking about God, and what God has given each girl. She told the girls how beautiful they were, inside and out. She told them that God has blessed them and they need to know it and do it.

I started thinking about my small groups, and Sunday school classes growing up. I was a TOTAL misfit – not bad – just the wrong fit.

I remember my Sunday school teacher – I guess I was in Jr High ish. She was really together, beautiful, demure, organized, holy and whatever else. I know she meant well – REALLY well – but the message I heard Sunday/Wednesday after Sunday/Wednesday after Sunday/Wednesday was that if I wasn’t quiet and demure: translate: monovanilla – I wasn’t really a good fit as a Christian girl.

Now there’s NO WAY she could have meant for me to hear that (giving her benefit of the doubt) but that’s what I heard.

MAN O MAN did I spend a years trying to fit in with her ideas!! One year I even signed yearbooks as ‘God’s Handmaiden’!!! Can you believe it???? Ick. Blach. Gag me!

As I listened to Tova I thought: What if SHE had been my mentor, leader, teacher? Loving who I was, the heart of me. Seeing it and applauding God in me. Imagine – all the goofy, singing, dramatic, insecure, hopeful, confused, boy crazy, struggling, loving little bits of me being adored by someone who was convinced that God knew what He was doing when He dreamed me up.

These girls and guys are blessed to be in her care. Her momma heart is big. Way bigger than her body – though not big as her laugh.

Time for bed now.

I want to dream about the will of God tonight. Not a ‘what is the will of God for my life’ dream, but I want God to appear to me and tell me if there really is just one will per life.

One.

And if you don’t hit it square in the eye, you’re sunk.

Now, there is a LOT about that thinking that would play well with my life, but I really have doubts about it being the heart of God at work.

Monday July 19

I have no more finger prints.

My back is shot.

My knees are swollen.

It’s very pretty.

Going to dinner, then worship, then bed.

Cuan Grande es Dios, and mi booboo’s.